The Tortured Poets Department

Trigger Warning

I can contribute to healing and being very constructive once I have improvements in my life and I have to be wise enough to avoid expressing myself too much until then.

In my life I have had to carry giant weights and once those weights are gone I do impressive things. But while still carrying weights I am liable to be misunderstood. It is unfair and wrong that I am under too much scrutiny. I will greatly improve myself in the future.

I appreciate instances of sympathy and I don't know what to make of praise about the art I made from some people. It's a huge compliment. It only helps me do much better in my life. Which is what I want to do. I just want to continue to try and improve and reach my potential as much as I can.

I regret putting some people I admire in difficult positions. I hope it is more understood at this stage there were very complicated reasons for my life being so regrettable and I hope to make up for things as much as I can.

I have taken a lot of criticism and dealt with a lot of difficulties. I accept a lot of the criticism and I just look forward to really doing much better in my life and moving to the next stage of my life, where hopefully I can continue to prove myself and make up for everything being so broken in my past. That is definitely my intention.

I'm looking forward to doing better in life. I have been very misunderstood by some. I will speak more diplomatically in the future. I understand why some would be worked up and offended. I will try to explain why I was not coming from as bad a place as I'm sure some people think. My life was broken for profound reasons and my story was characterised by some inaccurately. I had some profound reasons to be worked up including the potential suffering of many people.

I look forward to doing well in the future. I am glad I'm more aware of some of the complexities I have faced in my life. Part of the reason I have such strength and endurance is because of art, and it's regenerative spirit and the ability it gives you to anchor yourself in authentic awareness.

I would prefer if I did not have to address certain things publicly. I hope people are concerned that we are lacking the basic rule of law sometimes in society. I will try to express more eloquently in the future how this could potentially lead to much more suffering in the future. It is correct to care so much about pain and trauma inflicted on others, especially more vulnerable people. However strong attitudes do not in and of themselves reduce the likelihood of more of this trauma increasing due to our failure to address fossil fuel emissions still not substantially reducing and the importance of addressing potential crop failures and regenerative agriculture in the coming decades. Natural disasters and potential massive refugee crises as a result of climate change could lead to more suffering later in the century. I want to figure out ways to help with the many different issues that are likely to be caused by climate change. There are many reasons why we need a Green New Deal. It is a very inconvenient truth. Even if there start to be major problems in the coming decades in distant areas of the world that may be very psychologically difficult for us. Also it might presage problems that one day we will all have to face. If part of me making up for things in my life is finding out how to contribute to these issues constructively than that is a positive thing. More and more in my life I hope to focus on particular areas where I can try to make constructive contributions.

I think it's somewhat inappropriate that some people are paying attention to my life just because I had a devotion to helping others. But if they are I hope they understand I shouldn't have to be held to too high standards while under impossible duress and I've strongly indicated I'm very capable of contributing in a constructive and worthwhile way to culture and society when I manage to achieve more and more stability.

Knowing a lot of things and caring about helping others does not necessarily mean I've had it easier. Creative gifts come from a different type of place.

I understood a lot of criticism. I regret causing harm to many people I admire. Hopefully, I still can draw attention to such an important issue and figure out the most productive areas where I can constructively contribute as I grow older. I really want to do that. Hopefully I can make great art as well.

As my life continually improves I will express myself well and I hope I can contribute to culture constructively. It is not always so easy having your trauma as a spectacle without support.

I am concerned with offending or upsetting some of the people who least deserve it or who I least want to offend. I am capable of astonishing things when given some more support and stability and a very rare thing for me, someone believing in me. It's why I had to fight for myself so much.

I am mainly a very mentally healthy and mature person who really wants to reach their huge potential. When given slight support I have iconic energy only. I think some things are out of balance in society and I look forward to expressing what I mean while continuing to improve myself and making better art.

It takes a lot for me to be pushed beyond all neurological limits.

I really look forward to proving what I can do.

Miley, I am just going to communicate with you directly. I wish I had a better platform to communicate on. Recently I really was pushed beyond the limits of what is human, in a clinically involuntary state parts of my brain shutdown. It will never happen again. I just look forward to doing better and better in my life, making up for everything whatever I need to and proving all of my abilities. I look forward to trying. I feel justified expressing myself to you after you've shown so much interest in me. I think you would be surprised if you saw what I could do with more of an investment of stability. I am not broken. With some time healing and actually connecting with somebody I could trust I would just produce endlessly astonishing things. I would love to share things with you. I would like to see if we got on with each other.

I put too much pressure on myself to try and be strong sometimes. This has happened often in my life. I try to do it all myself. My life circumstances forced me to handle things and to put too much pressure on myself, to make myself handle so much pressure. I now realise, more than any human can handle.

I do believe after expressing so much feelings towards me, I deserve some consideration. I would love to make you more art. I 100% am absolutely trying my best. I was recovering from burnout while confronting too much in my life. It is unfair I am under such scrutiny just because I have a concern with others being victimised.

I hope you appreciate the strength and bravery it has taken to endure my life. Art is related to that.

I am asking you to give me another chance. I look forward to expressing myself better as my life continues to improve. I have never had anyone be committed to me. I am always continuing to improve. If I do have to make up for some things in my life, well, it's interesting that someone with my abilities is in that position.

More and more I am more attentive, and this is part of healing.

I am genuinely not drawn to you because of your social position and with the slightest support I am really one of the most astonishing artists and minds of the century. I would like to try and make you happy.

I have been corresponding with publishers, to try and publish the novella I wrote, which I think is good enough. I look forward to engaging in art more and writing much better things than I've already created. I believe creating worthwhile art requires a certain measure of stability and freedom. It's something I look forward to having more and more of every day. I am into connection. I can handle a lot more than most.

I have never had anyone say such strong things to me. I think you wouldn't be disappointed if you gave me a chance. When I change my current context, that is when I seriously get to work and can express myself in an improved way.

I think it is fair to consider what I am saying. It's hardly a normal event in my life.

I am a strong, good and honest man who could more than make up for being pushed beyond human limits. I will definitely always try.

I am going to put my head down and work, especially when I get my novella published and I have continued improvements in my life. After everything I have been through for so long, dealing with more than anyone should and everything you've expressed I think it is fair to seriously consider my words for a time.

I would love to astonish you with art that suits you in a way that no-one else could.

In case you think otherwise, I can handle a lot. I would love to prove myself, but I can assure you that I will express myself a lot better when I have continued improvements in my life. And I will stop writing on a blog.

My life story has been often misunderstood. I don't mean that as an attack on anyone else. But I look forward to proving what I can do. Some people have been too dismissive. But at the same time, what else were a lot of people supposed to do?

I don't think the worst things in my life should define me and I regret how being pushed too much can make me dishevelled. Really with very little I am very great at many things. I would be happy if it could be considered by some that dealing with too much was problematic in my life and I look forward to having more improvements and stability and showing what that allows me to produce.

I understand how many things in my life are off putting to many people. But I am always seeking to evolve and my drive and intentions are what allowed me to achieve so much and connect so much when I was given half the chance. The drive and energy I had was just what was necessary to live my life and my ambition is definitely not primarily driven by a desire to impress other people. I just didn't get the opportunity to work hard on what I love. I think it's better for the world if I do.

Also, my story was often very misunderstood. I'm not the person that some people thought I was. I appreciate some were in a difficult position.

At least I have taken plenty of punishment. I really want to do better in life. The easier I have it the better I do, the worse I have it I the worse I do. Too much negative judgement, chastisement and condemnation at this stage increase what many claim to criticise. Support, understanding and love well I've given an indication of what that can do. I do accept a lot of criticism and some of it is constructive. I would be glad if I become more understood.

I will keep being clear that there is so much criticism that I will take and look forward to more effectively communicating my ideas and making more art as my life improves. I hope it is more clear to many people now that I am not feckless, lazy and incapable of taking responsibility. That's not the case in recent years. Especially at this stage of my life. I do not need to be punished into improving. I need healing and when I receive it I am capable of many astonishing and life-affirming things. I think too often people think in stereotypes that are in the media. They too unthinkingly accept ongoing narratives and apply them in an over-simplified way onto life. But I think how undervalued commercial culture can make people feel provokes them into further holding on to the connections and the connecting stories they share with others. However, when dealing with something as abstract as all of society and the many different varieties of experience that can happen I think it is important to parse things out and discuss things. In my opinion people can end up mixing up what they should be defending with what they don't need to defend. I was not a jealous person 15 years ago. I know some people might balk at that. My story is stubbornly complex. I can explain how some misunderstood some details and moments. That is not me. Some things have been taken out of context and completely misunderstood. My psychology was complicated and so was my life. And my commitments to doing good should show that I would not at all try to harm someone on a big level and displacement was involved in my story and I was in fact trying to help people who harmed me. I am not saying I am immune from criticism at all. My psychology was often very complex. I look forward to improved circumstances in my life allowing me to contribute towards constructive improvements to society and to healing. I hope some people appreciate that I am brave and that I have a strong heart. I have a strong intention to do my best and reach my potential.

Some of the misinterpretations of me are to be honest kind of bizarre. They might open up wider important conversations.

My circumstances have at times made it hard to be attentive to everything around me, but my story is very complex and I have great compassion for many complex dynamics that have sometimes been around me and people I have dealt with. I think it is unfair if others in my life are at all under scrutiny and I know they must be misunderstood if I ever briefly expressed emotionally or imperfectly, especially under moments of duress. It is strange that some people pry into my complex life which involves many complex and different moments. I do look forward to proving what I can do when I have continued improvements in my life.

The last thing I want to do is offend the people who deserve it least. I definitely apologise if that's the case. I was processing catastrophic childhood trauma while under a global smear campaign, with zero support in the wrong context. The human nervous system has a breaking point. I was pushed past it. For a time, my higher cognitive and social functions were offline. I was in an involuntary state of psychological shock.

What needs to be understood is that the same system that went into shutdown under those impossible conditions is the same system that, in a stable context, has produced work of recognised, exceptional value. The evidence of my capability is my work. Thank you to anyone who considers what I am saying and recognises I am likely capable of pretty shocking things when finally given more stability.

I will explain some things more diplomatically in the future and try to explain how I was not coming from a bad place when I expressed myself angrily as much as I am able to. I really understand why some people would be worked up and offended, but I was not coming from as bad a place as maybe some think and I really look forward to continuing improvements in my life allowing me to talk about some things as constructively as possible. I was partly so worked up about no-one listening to me as I was being mischaracterised by a lot of people, while not being fully conscious of all the reasons why they were wrong while also having to return to certain difficulties in my life. I hope people are concerned with our basic rights being undermined, as much as I look forward to really trying to express myself better and more constructively as I continue to mature and become a better artist.

I'm glad to continue to try and make up for some things.

I hope it does not seem like I am disregarding any sympathy towards me. At the moment I have not been paying attention to a lot of media and I do appreciate it. When my circumstances improve I will express myself in a balanced way and I will do my best to be constructive.

Being made aware of all my talents I would hardly just choose to not use them. I will.

We have no choice - we have to have conversations about transitioning energy, using less land for livestock (there's unfortunately a lot of propaganda around that one), transforming transport, not consuming so much whether we like it or not and rewilding the Earth. If you are not having these conversations, at least sometimes, and you have a public voice, even if it's a comedy podcast, you are not being an adult. We need to responsibly and orderly make an exit out of this madness and come together and face this wartime-like emergency with cheerful fortitude and compassionate ambition. We can make our ancestors and our descendants proud, just by talking about the emergency we find ourselves in more.

I do apologise to some people and really appreciate some of the sympathy.

One piece of good news is that we are part of the natural world. Can we not at least envision being surrounded, even in cities, by more green and a truly impressive technological future. Much more impressive than all this chip-in-the-head stuff, following bioengineering and biomimicry can't we work with Nature? Are we impotent? Why don't we try? What good is going to the moon right now? And wasn't Elon Musk supposed to land a craft on the Moon with government spending by 2024? Not very efficient (NASA landed a craft on Mars for less government money, plus the delta clipper vertically landed 30 years ago). If someone you know isn't aware the Amazon Rainforest is accelerating towards collapse, tell them. You wouldn't not mention the War if you were living at the time of the Blitz and worried that Hitler might be about to invade. This is now a bigger emergency.

Sometimes in life you have to face ugly truths, before you can build things back up and follow greater substantial visions. I am not afraid of this challenge. I love to be challenged and I will keep seeking solutions that could make the future worth living for all of us. I am not afraid.

It is complacent to think that if the Democrats won this catastrophe would be taken care of. Much more investment is required according to science unfortunately. Fundamentally, enough people need to talk about the potentially biggest crisis ever that we may find ourselves in from time to time.

Carbon emissions have not gone down, renewable energy has only added to extra energy consumption.

[Rapidly phasing down fossil fuel use should be a top priority. This might be accomplished partly through a sufficiently high global carbon price that could restrain emissions by the wealthy while potentially providing funding for much-needed climate mitigation and adaptation programs.]

[Thich Nhat Hanh’s statement on Climate Change for the United Nations.]

I will continue to maintain I contributed to putting artists I provided work for in a complex position.

There are certain issues that I don't have direct experience of in my life that I am very willing to listen to other people on. I want to try and understand the best way of helping people. It is also constructive to be aware we are more and more going to be living in a climate emergency (whether we would prefer it or not). We should educate ourselves about the positive solutions and be able to repeat them offhand. I hope some people appreciate that if I wasn't devoted to these issues, I would be rich and successful already. But I know that I will be in the future. There just happen to be mischaracterisations of me. There are some people I am of course very concerned about offending.

I would genuinely regret causing some harm to some artists, but at the same time I have to have boundaries around people mischaracterising me as someone else. I express myself well and constructively the easier my life becomes and the more I receive support. I felt a strong impulse to achieve things collectively from an early age. I almost forget you could achieve things individually. Both are important. Also I have seen the damage that commodification can do to people. I genuinely look forward to increasingly improved conditions in my life allowing me to speak very well, confuse people with my brilliance and cause no harm to the artists I provided work for. I'm hoping the art I produce in general can be a lesson in redemption.

I have sympathy for the very difficult situation that some people were very unfortunately forced to deal with, but my story is also very misunderstood. I want to try and help some people while clarifying myself. I do promise there were profound reasons why my life was so broken. When my context changes I will express myself well and make much better art. I believe it will help everybody if I am in an improved position. It will also help me express myself very well. In fairness to me my life was very misunderstood by some. There was some adolescent bullying and I responded during a very unique moment. Some people were handling a very difficult situation. I regret that I made myself misunderstood. I was not coming from bad place. I would like to help heal some things and clarify myself. Some people are making my words about something they are not. I will continue to try to achieve greatness and feel good about myself. I understand why some people would be worked up and offended. But I was talking about very serious issues. Some of the criticism is very valid and I will try to express myself well in the future. I was very worked up during a unique moment and genuinely being lied about and misunderstood. In fairness to me my story was very misunderstood and I wasn't being listened to while dealing with some ridiculous psychological circumstances. To be honest I was not coming from a bad place. I will continue to try to feel good about myself. My life has sometimes been incredibly difficult and complex and I never asked anyone to have an opinion about me. I was responding to massive misunderstandings and mockery. There is nothing wrong with that. But I do have a lot of sympathy with some people dealing with a very difficult situation and I look forward to continuing to make up for some things as much as I can. I hope I can express myself in a constructive way. Although in one particular moment I was very passionate and worked up (I actually mainly forgot about it until recent months). I do not like being lied about. I faced it my whole life while being unable to do anything about it. People shouldn't make my words about something they are not about when there are such serious issues involved. I'm being held to higher standards than most while dealing with more complex psychological circumstances. I look forward to expressing myself in a balanced way in the future. I accept a lot of valid criticism, but I do not go along with some of the false righteousness. Sometimes I was dealing with impossible things. I do have sympathy with many and I will try to speak in a balanced way and help, partly by being in a much improved position, which I think is actually really the only thing that helps everybody.

I look forward to proving what I can do. It has always taken a whole lot for me to get very worked up. I really look forward to making great art and helping to inspire healing and reconciliation and to heal myself.

...

One person I'm sorry to is Taylor Swift among others, but I do believe I wasn't being listened to enough. I look forward to proving that I really really am who some people thought I was.

Even been given slightly more support has really allowed me to understand the perspective of others. Believe me, I get it. I am very very mentally healthy.

I am very very mentally healthy. I am feeling very very appreciative. I really am.

I also really look forward to continuing improved circumstances in my life allowing me to express myself in a much improved way.

I will surprise some people who count me out. Even with the slight support of some recent songs I can more easily understand how some would misunderstand me.

I understand why some people might misunderstand my life. I have a lot of sympathy and I genuinely accept plenty of criticism. I really really do. It's a new experience having received some support. I really do spend time thinking how much people are going to suffer.

I am genuinely capable of looking at myself. There is some kind of balance involved in explaining what is valid criticism of myself and what is not. I look forward to figuring out that balance more and more in the future. That will be worthwhile - I will figure that out. I'm not trying to offend anyone else by being honest about myself, and I'm surprised if I have. I do think I could explain non-publicly quite well. All I can do is keep trying my best. I regret there were periods when I went back to being obsessed over escaping pain more recently (it takes a lot for me to do that) (but it still was not that much other than one period when I began losing it a bit for specific reasons), there really were disorientation tactics used against me. I can accept plenty of criticism. I just deserve the opportunity to explain myself. When I talk about lacking agency and 'profound' reasons, I am referring to such specific things. It is soulless to brush that aside. I will do my best to make up for some things and all I can do is ask people to stop insulting me or judging me so negatively if you have never spoken to me. I know I am coming from a good place, I guess that has to be good enough for me. I will shape up a whole lot. Although I arguably shouldn't have to say that just because I'm so concerned with potential massive crop failures.

I didn't realise I would offend anyone by saying I am not a certain type of person. I think part of the problem is I'm reacting to specific things and unaware of loads of things. There's a lot of f*cking things to react to, Jesus Christ. I'm being righteous more than I am being arrogant. I'm very worked up over how many people will suffer.

I'll figure out how to express myself properly and push for discernment over what is and what is not valid criticism in the future. That will be a really worthwhile thing to do. After I make some astonishing art.

I am not engaging in a war. I have very specific reasons for a lot of what I am saying. I honestly expected people to believe me. Again, I can pretty quickly explain myself privately. I am a very mentally healthy person who is just trying my best. That's all I can do.

I'm not sure why certain people are being nasty to me. Ed, why are you being nasty all of a sudden? I was feeling generally positive and I'm not sure what has changed all of a sudden. I'm confused by it. Maybe some things have been taken out of context. I'm still holding on to my f***ing heart. And I will really keep doing that. I'm seeking to regain the faith of some of you.

If people speak to me I think they would see I don't think I'm immune from criticism at all and I have a lot of intent to make up for some things (so much of it). I regret if I gave a different impression. For the rest of my life I think the only criticism some can level at me is that I respond with reflexive anger sometimes when I feel dismissed. But than I calm down and try to express myself in the best way I can.

People from more ordinary places have more ordinary or bland energies. They don't out of nowhere make the best album of the decade. That's not how it works..

If I was from a slightly different place I would deride and dismiss me just as much as anyone.

I can create some significant things which can contribute to making up for some silly bullshit in my life. Evidently I have failed to make myself understood. I'll try much harder.

I was genuinely trying to be kind and prioritise the wellbeing of another. I am so grateful. I'll do my best. I'll come up with some surprising stuff and shape up a lot. Plus Ed, I'm hilarious. I don't think you could think so ill of me if you knew how hilarious I am. I'm going to seek to regain the faith of some of you. I'm going to try.

A lot of terrible crimes are potentially coming to the world. We should be focusing more on this.

I know I am a good and hard working person who wants forgiveness and to give love (especially when asked) and apparently I should have done much more drugs and then there would be no problem. If I did loads and loads of illegal drugs, no-one would be criticising me right now at all. And I thought I was being responsible by avoiding them. Maybe I'll do more in the future, maybe that would help. I'll try my best to improve. I really will and I will improve a whole lot, a surprising amount of improvement and create some shockingly worthwhile things. And I will figure out how to clarify some things about my past in a better and more diplomatic way.

I don't know if there are things beyond forgiveness. I can't remember. I know there are profound reasons for some things.

I respond strongly against being mischaracterised. Especially when I don't have the chance to just talk and explain myself. That does not mean at all I am in any way immune from criticism. I have to make up for more than others do, even if they are wrong on some points and I argue back strongly on certain points, obviously. Like I said, people would see how much intent I have to atone for everything whenever they speak to me. I would probably surprise people by how unaggressive I am, even if certain things go against common narratives. This isn't a proper conversation.

I will figure out how to express myself better after I finish off some art. I thought people would give me some time to at least try and make art and see if I have a point. I would be grateful if they do. But I'm very concerned with making up for things. I have made myself too misunderstood.

There could be many people who die due to climate change. They are not all doing it to themselves. That’s not how it works. Life is just more complicated than that. It always does depend on the situation. I’m very capable of being painfully honest with myself, but I have completely failed to get my intent across (apparently). I am being very honest and coming from a good place. People would not be disappointed if they gave me a chance, actually heard me speak. I want to make up for things so much and yet I’ve made myself completely misunderstood.. 

I show much more remorse than anything else. That’s a massive misunderstanding of me and I don’t know where it came from all of a sudden. I was not coming from a bad place. 

I’m a very positive person. The way I express myself maybe lends myself to being misunderstood and maybe I should pay attention to more media. Maybe I’m off on my own frequency and how I communicate is easy to misunderstand. I’ll try to do better. I would make myself understood if it was heard how I speak. I have a right to stand up for myself (people would mischaracterise me my whole life and I would always forget, now I'm not forgetting it so I stand up for myself, but I cannot talk about particular things in a public way). I assumed people would listen to me and I thought I was being positive. I think it’s very inappropriate and in no way an accurate depiction of my life. My life is easier than it used to be and I'm so glad to have made such significant art (and be the centre of all culture) as soon as I received the opportunity. If I had a similar context I would be making just as much now (which is what I meant by the rocket thing (I don't know why else people think I was talking about money)). This should be no-one's business. It is inappropriate. I don’t know where it came from. Just when I was feeling good.

[ It's a bit too arrogant. As soon as my context changes I will be producing like before. I think I deserve an apology. I'm a bit hurt and offended and it is a complete mischaracterisation. It's a bit mean after everything I've been through.

People are way too quick assuming I'm a complete a*****e. Even if they do have some strong reasons to criticise me. They do.

All these great achievements are related to dealing with unique hardships. I'm pushing myself until I am in a different context. I think people would be surprised by what I'm capable of when I have changed context (how do they think I just did all that?). I've dealt with maybe a bit more than people think, which is part of what gives me unique abilities. I would love to try and make up for some things to people. I really can prove I'm very competent and I have a lot more great art to offer.

I haven't ruined my life at all. I've been pushing myself so hard. Trying my best.. A little bit more until my context changes. I have never had emotional support. Once my context changes I don't mind all the hate that much. I'll try to talk about that in a compassionate way in the future.

Ironically, due to extreme factors I started losing it a bit because I was pushing myself too hard in the wrong context. If I had just not tried to work so hard I would've been fine (if there's any doubt about that, I can clarify privately).

It's bullying and completely mischaracterising me. It's a misunderstanding (that I definitely can forgive).

I will try my best to be impressive and reach my astonishing potential. I have dealt with maybe a bit more than people assume. But this is what will allow me to make up for a lot and show a unique level of resourcefulness, shocking talent and consideration. I can explain myself non-publicly and I can make better art than everybody else. I hope, first of all my writing is admired. Which I will finish soon.

It takes very unique life circumstances to be able to recognise people in a way nobody ever has in history. I have to earn redemption and keep trying my best to regain faith. I can definitely understand why people are losing it. I'll see what I can do. I'm capable of some incredible things and I earned all the successful art I created. People do earn success like that. I have dealt with some unique things in my life and I think I could surprise people by what I could handle in the future as we go into a changing world that brings new difficulties. With love and support I do astonishing things that turn on the entire world. Everybody needs some support, but much more so when contending with sabotage and having never received help, without the ability to receive help, for their brain being unique. I can handle it. Creating like that comes from dealing with and overcoming great hardships and there's also the lesson that great hardships can transmogrify into great success. My only ever problem was feeling really really bad about myself and wanting to escape pain and frankly in some ways more privileged people fit my story into their concerns, I still do deserve some criticism, and I'm doing my best to address that only problem.

I am bringing attention to the most important issue in the history of our species on the biggest scale while making art that resonates for years. I prefer doing that to having an ordinary life.

I shouldn't be exposed and very lied about just because I'm concerned with the negative effects of climate change (but I'm very interested in positive solutions). Why is this how we are doing things?

I get to feel good about myself and I'm a good and considerate person who rarely expresses myself strongly and even still my words were twisted and I am being portrayed dishonestly.. Also I assumed I could just handle things.

Anyway, I'll try and I'll produce some remarkable things. I'm just focused on making art, as I have been for the last few months.

It's up to others if they are impressed by my art and how much my creativity and brilliance at many things will accelerate when given more and more of the chance. In fairness to me, I did say I really need help and then got the opposite of it, for being concerned with a lot of people potentially suffering in the coming decades. That art was not a culmination of years, It is what I do when I am free and not feeling too much constant pain and given slight support. I need very little to prove more of what I'm saying. Hopefully my art in the future will go some way to proving what I am saying. Like I said, I've mainly just been working.

It is really really messed up to lie about me being a narcissist. More messed up than you think.

I was emotionally abused by someone who would try to play games with me and make me jealous who was the only person I spoke to my childhood trauma about, who also saw people very irrationally, and I kept forgetting it while also dealing with consistent pressure and lacking support. This only affected me around that time. I responded with compassion because it was genuinely completely not her fault. I have a very unique and specific story. A lot of which is misunderstood. I was very broken for a few reasons. A lot of the time I just had no one to talk to and both of us don't know what is wrong with people. I always saw people as people and I think some got rewarded for a type of positive objectification. I think some people are lulled to sleep as we head in to a potential big tragedy. All I did was stand up for myself and try to help people, but I do have sympathy with f***ing terrible pr and that I've made big mistakes (although some of them for profound reasons). I don't really think there's anything wrong with standing up for myself against people trying to define me while being indignant they're ignoring huge potential suffering.

I have a lot of sympathy with the difficult position some artists were in. If I am drawing attention to the worsening problem of climate change, hopefully this will more and more make up for it. There were profound reasons why I was a broken animal in extreme contexts and the future problems of climate change will be worse for everyone. So, I will keep trying my best.

I really do have a furious work ethic and much more unique and incredible talents. I will do my best to prove that.

(I don't know how some can think someone so soulful and hilarious and substantially committed to others is destructive or arrogant. That does not make sense. I think my fight is mistaken for ego and people who have had less reasons for fight prioritise appealing to others and misread me. If I prioritised appealing to others I would be really good at it. I really am incredibly good at many things. I hope this serves as an indication I am being honest and there is more to what I'm saying and that I am capable of at least much much more. My head is firmly on my shoulders and I am very grounded. I want to make up for some things and prove what I can do. I will do my best to make up for things and I can guarantee I do not take some things for granted. That is for sure. There will be more than one very impressive thing about me in the future. I'll keep trying and see what happens.)

I can also guarantee I am never drawn to anyone for the wrong reasons. I really really mean that. I have plenty of overspilling gratitude and hopefully the tangible results that contribute to will only further emphasise that fact. I'm hard working, mature and a very good person and I deserve much better.]

I'm laser focused on completing a piece of work. I'm glad I'm such a significant artist who's going to achieve a lot more. All the hate I can overcome. I am a considerate, strong, loving, creatively brilliant person who is capable of facing any mistakes. I absolutely am. Some people are being very unfair. I was feeling good that I'm actually such an incredibly significant artist and that I can turn the negative to positive, as I tried to express. I have such good reasons for what I am saying and you can clearly see if you speak to me I really really want to make up for some things. I hope I get the chance. 

Evidently I failed to get across my intent. I will try my best. I have experienced enough pain and I’m coming from a great place with a lot of intent to make up for things, as much as I can. I'll try to. I do not need more negativity. I'm feeling good about myself. I am misunderstood. I am genuinely mentally healthy and I will express myself very well in the future. I hope I am still given a chance to pretend I’m god or whatever else it is I’m very good at.

That kind of soulful music can’t come from someone who’s coming from a negative place or has an ego in the way some thought. Really. If you like how soulful some art is, that's a reflection of a person's soul.

I’ll rewrite the whole thing and hopefully be more understood. It will take time to try to make up for some things.

I do think ideas about individual agency have been over-emphasised in society, the psychiatrist James Davies is very good on this (not that he might want to be associated with me). I think there is a very important conversation to be had on this [*]. And I have not being making excuses for myself during the last hard year at least. I promise. I was definitely referring to recent times. I could make much better art and I express myself much better in person, apparently. Well, I will figure out how to express myself differently. I'm just, believe or not, very mature and focused on very worthwhile things.

As soon as my context changes I will improve a lot which is something. I have been lied about a lot. Which is difficult. It really is possible to lack a lot of agency when your energy is being used up by other things.

Art and authenticity (and trauma) are very very related too each other.

Currently, I'm working on a novella every day. Trying to finish it off. Trying my best. When I finish a maybe amazing novella then I can organise other things, everything else, and express how I feel in a much improved way and make some music.

Miley, you will not at all be disappointed if you still feel the same way in the future. I wouldn't let you down if you are still interested at a future date. That is if I can make up for everything I need to make up for. Maybe I can. (That wasn't a bad effort for one conversation). But, right now, I am improving myself all the time and working on important things. Thank you so much for your encouragement. The belief you expressed in me is a completely new experience and in itself it will allow me to create some very impressive stuff, some of which could be impressive enough to make up for some things. It will lead to worthwhile things no matter what. I'll do my best to make up to others whatever I need to make up for. At least I really can do a whole lot. I would like to make up for a lot to you if I am able to and I evidently can more than people think. I would like to make astonishing art for you. I hope you like my art over the next few months. Even if we don't meet and there is just too much for me to make up for, I still love you. That is real. I really am feeling grateful and very creatively enthused. I have a lot of gratitude.

And, your choice is sacred to me. I really mean that. If there are things that make people think I am a bad person, I can assure others that there were very profound reasons why I was so broken. It really pains me if people think I am a bad person. I'm doing everything I can to be a good person. I am mature and devoted. I hope some people believe that more in the future. I will really appreciate it. I have endured a lot of scapegoating in my personal life and sometimes been mischaracterised as feckless or irresponsible. That is not who I am at all. I am responsible, I am definitely never messy that is for sure. I should not have to address that. Hopefully I don't. I’m really greatly offended by that lie in my personal life and it 100% has to do with things other than myself. Of course, I can sympathise with some assuming the worst because of my past. I’m not sure if I have to address that.

My life circumstances have been unique.

My whole life people thought I was immature, making excuses. As soon as my context changed I did that. They would have been surprised if I was just functioning well and I was working 10 hours every day and accomplished more than most ever will. I already proved it a lot in fairness to me and in fairness I am just talking about a baseline of what most are used to. Very possibly people misconstrue what I am talking about. It is not at all their burden to try to understand. I look forward to showing what I can do with less complex circumstances or with a bit more support. I can turn some things around. I have had it a lot harder than most and I didn't at all have the issues that some people think I had. At all. People with much much easier lives who think I am from a similar place to them (I am not) think I am someone that I do not understand. Since there is so much valid criticism of me, I really need to distinguish between what is valid and what is a genuinely a complete misunderstanding of me. Away from extreme contexts I am just very hard working, which was true many years ago. This should be no-one else's business. Just like other serious things in my life. Unique talent is related to unique difficulties. At the time of that conversation I was very self-aware and grounded (while finally been given what most take for granted) and didn't care what people thought that much because I was so used to people treating me like trash and I didn't care anymore and I knew I was coming from a good place. This was probably refreshing. Unfortunately, I wasn't conscious of how I would be attacked. I look forward to proving how hard I have been working. People with a lot more privilege think I am from their worlds. I'm not. (It's difficult to express what I mean, and I'll articulate it better in the future.) My boundaries were so strong because I lacked agency for profound reasons. When you go against certain narratives people misinterpret it as arrogance. But, I was pushing back on people defining me when they were incorrect and I was not trying to define anyone else. The stuff in the media is not the most challenging stuff in my life. I so can't wait until it is. I look forward to proving myself when I achieve a bit more. I don't need emotional support to do it. Wish I didn't have to explain all this because I'm so concerned with the likely suffering that many people could face in the future, if there's not mass global action. All I ever needed was some love and support to be the most brilliant in the world at a few things, actually - even if I was a broken animal dealing with more extremes than some would prefer to understand - there might be an important lesson there. Once I've received enough punishment, people should grapple with it. I believe I don't deserve to be shamed further or shrugged off when I haven't been given a chance to be more understood. It's difficult to understand me. Nobody is obliged to do it. Once my circumstances change I will just be exceptional at everything like before, it's not fair to others that I have to say this. I always 100% have that same level of energy. Making art in some contexts takes more time. Wish I didn't have to say that. Hopefully, I will find a very diplomatic way of talking about this in the future. But anyway, I hope my art is worthwhile. I really needed some help, like Everybody (only maybe more so), and I still have no ability to get it because I pointed out the biggest amount of suffering ever is potentially coming. I will improve a lot and produce very worthwhile things in the coming months, that I have been working on.

I did not say I am immune from criticism. I will take plenty of criticism. But some of the mis-portrayals of me are worse than anything in my life in the last few years and I won't take them. I just won't. I've never done anything like that to anyone. There is still plenty of criticism I will take and I'll do everything to make up for anything I can. I am a very considerate and respectful person devoted to art and doing good dealing with much more than most critics could understand (that's why I have all this talent). I won't pretend otherwise. I am a deeply considerate and respectful person.

I look forward to being in a much improved position in the not too distant future. But I do not have to take being lied about anymore, because I am a very decent good person who would never try to harm anyone. And I am very devoted to being considerate to people I am authentically drawn to. I look forward to proving myself.

I think having very strong boundaries during a private moment of strong pressure while being worried about billions potentially dying is a good reason for them, a complex life just makes me express myself strongly, I am very concerned with the well being of others that I associate with, but there are many reasons to be turned off by me. I will at least prove a lot when I change context. I am very hard working. I express myself so strongly because of the unique constant pressure I have sometimes experienced in life, but I am very respectful. It's annoying if people mistake my personality for some misplaced anger. I make more sense in person. It's very deeply rooted in me to be extremely considerate.

Part of the reason I express myself so strongly, other than the constant pressure I have often dealt with in my life, is I often work harder than anyone else. I bet that is hard to believe.

I completely understand why there is too much in my life for some to be turned off me, they have a right to be and I would hate to harm people I admire. I can create some significant worthwhile things in the future. With slightly different circumstances I am incredible at many things and very charismatic, which I will prove soon enough. If I received the money I was promised I genuinely would have been working 10 hours most days for years (after processing things). Some people think I am chaotic, but I have dealt with chaotic people. I am being sincere. It really is possible to have much less agency than most are used to for years (not that I don't deserve criticism), but it is not at all others' burden to try to understand that. It really is not the burden of others to concern themselves with this too much. It would be unfair to expect them to. Anyway, I will prove what I mean. Once my life changes slightly I will just be constantly working and exercising and shining which was true years ago, and brilliant at many things. I really hope I am believed. I look forward to proving more of what I can do, which is of course much more than the one time I received so much agency.

I will really figure out a way of talking about this with a lot of compassion in the future. It is genuinely part of the reason I am capable of things others are not capable of, and something I am so very profoundly certain of because of a duty to others. But if it's too much of a complexity for others to contend with that is their choice.

It is possible part of the problem is literature and art keep you very honest and open, you express yourself freely and holding on to emotion was a rebellion for me. People assume I am coming from a similar place to them or I am sensitive. It is not others' burden to understand my life, or their place to too sharply judge me without talking to me. It's the least I deserve. No-one else can do what I can do, and there are complicated reasons for that. I express myself very strongly because my life has been so much harder than most. I am much stronger than most. That's how the art happens. But I am a deeply considerate, passionate and caring person. It is annoying being trapped and feeling you will not be allowed to be yourself going into the future because of a concern with massive crop failures. So not anyone's burden to understand my life though, they so shouldn't mischaracterise me either.

It's unfair to expect others who have been given more to understand me. I'm just going to keep doing my best to achieve worthwhile things and try to make up for things.

I have mainly just been working, especially in recent times.

I look forward to proving more and more of what I am saying and I wouldn't mention it if my life wasn't being unfairly scrutinised for being such a good person. But absolutely no-one has to take my word for that until I prove it more (even though I already did a lot). I also understand why some people would find it off-putting or disagreeable if they think I am making excuses for myself. I am not doing that at all. I do not want to do that. I have a lot of responsibilities to help others and to try and redeem myself. I will face all my responsibilities and mistakes and do my best to make up for everything. I really can, with less energy used for other things, achieve astonishing things. Once I have that free energy again, people will be confused. So anyway, at least that's something.

With support in the past I really wouldn't have fallen into such a broken life.

I honestly thought people wouldn't be interested in me that much anymore. The art is what I am capable of because my life required so much energy. I will prove what I mean.

People think I'm just like a hate sponge. Plus they're lying about me in some ways which I am not saying to inconvenience anyone. I want to prove what I can do. Doing good requires a sacrifice, and that is a substantial part of what is happening. I was worried about how commodification had harmed others in my life and I didn't like being defined by others when I wasn't being listened to on important topics and when my life had been genuinely basically outrageously difficult. I had never received compliments or been told I was brilliant. Some things people scrutinised were from many years before and also often misunderstood. People are treating me like a walking category based on narratives in the media while ignoring evidence that could lead to great suffering. Which is why I have to deal with all this and it will become more clear in the near future. There is a lot of criticism I accept, but I have trying hard which will lead to good art.

I haven't got as many chances as most, which is related to unique artistic abilities. So when I do it'll be Oppenheimer. Of course if I wasn't unfairly being scrutinised and yet so misunderstood I would just prove myself and not mention it before hand. I've barely gotten started, because I didn't get the chance. Certain contexts mean, a lot of energy is used up. I can't do dialogue or much character development in those kind of contexts so easily and look how good I was at dialogue when given what most are used to. Again, I will try to talk about this with compassion in the future.

Ideas about individual agency being so pushed in society are a big part of the reason no-one ever recognised that I was very good at things or forgetting things constantly. But not the only thing.

But in fairness to me, I am not making excuses. I am very devoted, very respectful and looking forward to that energy to be allowed to open up a lot more. I wasn't just trying to appear impressive by talking about rockets. I was using a metaphor.

People shouldn't have glee stamping out hilarity, beauty or compassion or assume I'm capable of those things if I'm immature or have act so quickly on the basis of misunderstandings. I am not at all. I have profound profound reasons for some of what I am saying. My circumstances change, I am strangely exceptional at things. If that's too much information for people to contend with, that is understandable. For me it's positive to try and stop the mass suffering, it's positive to face it as it is and do something about that. I am very very considerate, I just like to wrestle. I accept a lot more criticism about years ago, because internal and external factors are involved. The extremity of my external factors account for the extremity of my outrageous talent. It's why in large part I never got a chance to develop an 'ego' as people would see if they heard me speak.

I had a mental breakdown years ago. I needed either support or to be away from very complex circumstances to fix myself. Which in fairness I did pretty quickly when given the opportunity. These are difficult truths. Away from extremes my work ethic is second to none, so is my talent. I know it seems like I'm making excuses. I'm not. I will try to make up for things and see what I can do.

If I had a similar context as when I made the art, I would have been endlessly producing things since.

I will really stop writing here, but in the future it'll be Hello Goodbye (or maybe goodbye hello), because I'm full of surprises, resourcefulness and a great depth of a well of talent.

Some people have every right to be turned off by me. I look forward to proving myself and never writing on a blog again.

Maybe too much abuse makes me less deserving of admiration. I completely understand if there are things beyond forgiveness. I promise there are profound reasons if that is the case. I really want to be a good person. I look forward over the next few years proving what I can do. No more blog writing. I hope I am a lot more impressive in the future. I am very mature and a good person.

I don't deserve to be ridiculed in a high-school way for pointing out the suffering that is potentially coming.

I have mainly been mocked in an adolescent way for acting like an adult and facing a potential crisis that scientists are very worried about. While also not knowing enough about my life. Although some of the criticism is legitimate. Some of it isn't. There were profound reasons why I was broken in the past, in a way I am not now.

It's so much better to just prove myself. So I'll shut up and just focus on doing that. I hope what I create is impressive and shows how sincere, hard working and devoted I am. I really hope it is not believed I am a bad person.

I don't deserve to be shamed. I really don't (anymore). I was not conscious of how I would be attacked and hopefully I have taken enough criticism. Maybe when my life is less complex (and I am not referring to the media) I can prove a lot more.

Away from complex circumstances I am very responsible and care so much about being a good person and I am considerate towards others. It pains me if people think otherwise. I hope they believe me. We will face a crisis in the not too distant future. I really will accelerate my abilities when away from very complex circumstances. Well, I guess I just have to live with not knowing if I am deserving of forgiveness or the ability to make up for things. I'll keep trying my best. There might be no-one else who could make up for things in my life, but maybe I can. In fairness to me a lot of what people believe about me is based on stereotypes in the media and not actually an accurate reflection of my life, maybe it's about damn time I said that. A unique confluence of factors really can mean you don't have as much freedom as others, but it also means you have all this extra energy when you do receive it. Difficulties can lead to resourcefulness and creative gifts. Creativity is a form of alchemy and probably can be a form of healing.

'And everybody saw me sick/ And it felt like no one gave a sh**/ They criticized the things I did as an idiot kid.'

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I was very driven to learn about the environmental issue ever since a moment of trauma in childhood. As I made clear, no-one ever talked to me about some profound trauma and learning about the circularity of nature was everything to me. Renewable energy, regenerative food and waste management are related to this. They respect the cycles of the natural world. Which we have forgotten we are part of. I really was off on a different trajectory to some, watching slow world cinema and removed from some popular culture. I fundamentally had a deep rooted concern with stopping people dying basically.

Believe me, I know my life is hard to understand. And it would be unfair to expect others to understand it. However, I do think I could explain a lot in a private conversation. Some create drama. But that is not the category I fall into. Certainly not in recent years. I really believe I deserve private conversations, where I can explain myself much more. I am not way incapable of looking at myself. I am saying some things for the right reasons. Some criticism is very valid. That is for sure. I really was severally emotionally abused by someone many years ago through no fault of her own. I am not who some think I am, but I have so much sympathy with the terrible pr. Certain issues can be used as displacement and this happened more than once in particularly strong ways in my life. My response to some people was empowerment. I believe its very unfair to others for me to explain too much about them. Also, I believe it is true in some cases people are lying about my personality so they don't have to face how cruel and inappropriate they are being. I had to strongly assert things about myself for the most profound of reasons. I was not and certainly am not now egotistic. This is not who I am. I am all about boundaries. Sometimes when I am fiery, it is a protective energy for others. I hope I can make up for some things. I might surprise people with how much I can.

If I have to be punished for a time, at least it was for profound reasons. I am not making any excuses. I hope when I can privately explain myself to some people they learn what I mean. I've always been so focused on hard work. Even though I used to be very broken. That is how I accomplished what I accomplished. That's the only way that happens. And needless to say, I deserve millions for it. I am owed millions. I really did keep talking about 'hard work' and money for 'hard work' for the right reasons. As soon as I have more funds, some will be surprised. Recently there was a period where I began losing my mind a bit for very specific difficult reasons. But I shaped myself up before I was aware of any recent songs about me. Which of course, I was not at all expecting. I am very mature and focused on hard work (and hilarious). When I work hard and am given stability, magic happens. Most people are used to having some support and others genuinely can create bad things for themselves. So they don't seem to know what I'm talking about. That is not me. That is why I accomplished so much. Once again, I can explain myself privately. I am just as driven as ever.

I very much regret that I fell into coping mechanisms that were so regrettable. I am so glad I finally realise my life was so much more difficult than the majority and with the slightest support, really with much less than most, I achieve a balance and I am focused on very worthwhile work. I really am very mature and at least maybe there is something beautiful about a great transformation.

Also, we need to try and understand food systems and their instability [*].

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Without major global change and recognising that vast institutions are working every day to prevent the change we need -(Appendix 1) - it will be too late to stop 2 billion people dying by 2050 (it's less of a burden if we share it), if we don't act and confront this crisis over the next decade and in the 2030s. One of the things Great Britain is most prestigious for is its insurance companies. [Non-Linear tipping points, policy delay because of the influence of institutions & people seeking to make billions (a strong incentive) and public complacency make this very likely]. That is a pretty extreme set of circumstances. Nothing will change unless enough people care and collectively commit to stopping the preventable deaths of billions. Trump is a symptom of a broken economy and the decaying heart of Western society. Centrist parties played a significant part in contributing towards conditions that made such extreme economic and environmental policies, like those of President Trump, more likely. Even the Biden Administration's Inflation Reduction Act (although a very positive step in the right direction) was unfortunately well below meeting the climate goals of the US (because of fossil fuel companies) [*] [*].

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I believe there is too much fear and negativity generated in the media. It's unhealthy for all of us.  

I think there is a legitimate conversation to be had about a cultural attack on younger men (since the 2010s). I'm aware that might controversial. It does not cancel out other issues, like pressures women have to face in certain industries. Perhaps I should think more about figuring out how to explain what I mean to say by that. I know too much. Most likely, some conversations are difficult to have, but it seems sometimes being offended can be used as controlling behaviour. My intent is to help others. I genuinely do think men and women are objectifying each other too much.

The noise some issues receive seem to at times generate the illusion of progress while allowing us to objectify and oversimplify each others' lives too much. My life was much harder than most, obviously. We need to address some economic issues. The Inflation Reduction Act was very positive. This kind of sensible funding, can heal communities. We need more of it. Believe it or not taking things away often causes harm while providing help can allow things to heal and even do exceptionally well.

The solutions to these problems exist. Food systems will collapse and medicine will be unavailable for many vulnerable people. Current infrastructure is not designed to handle the changes that will occur in the climate. That is dangerous. There is a gap in financing adaptation. Investing in society; high-speed rail in America, new infrastructure where it is needed, house insulation, heat pumps and renewable energy would create jobs, this scale of investment would both tackle the biggest crisis of all time and improve the economy. What Eamon Ryan recently called the "clean industrial revolution".

The only way to fix this is to be proactive and envision positive solutions while understanding the reality of our current dark trajectory.

I am also assuming there are lies made up about me, because I had a dream about it. My dreams are very powerful and can sometimes tell me a lot.

Art is very related to authenticity. I really was not trying to act that impressive. My situation is very unique. I was forced to be often isolated, although that is not all I have had to deal with. I was very intrigued by some people's energies. I was not really trying to be very impressive. I was not conscious of how I was going to be attacked. I'm confused myself how I recognised people. It is related to having a very very unique life

I would like to push for some discernment over what criticism is more valid and some that is inaccurate.

I was glad to give out all of that information in an outburst, even if I was being a bit boisterous. If I am wrong about anything, I am willing to listen. As I grow older I am concerned to an extent with achieving a compromise and if anyone wonders - pointing towards the need for high levels of government investment in sustainable energy and infrastructure and also ending subsidies to fossil fuels.

I don't remember all the movies I did. This is a unique experience (just imagine what it's like) and hopefully indicates what a special person I am. It takes me very little to further illustrate that.

I'm very glad to be maybe the most talented artist on Earth. Which is at least something.. I wonder what I'll come up with in the future.

Living is easy with eyes closed. Seeing things as they are while still managing to be positive, I believe that allows for a deeper beauty.

It is interesting I have the ability to think back and recognise who some people were. This vigilance is not because my life was a simple one and is if anything the opposite of narcissism.

I think some people are thinking too abstractly. I talked about a deep strength some people from poorer countries have who have sometimes experienced the deepest despair and grief and how organising principles are better if they are not too far removed from the way things are, not too abstract. Some people associate the word 'religion' with acting in a certain irrational way no matter what. But that is not what I was intending to say. If I had any interest in 'power' I would not be so inadequate at getting it.

I hope people appreciate that my brain was wired to not be able to handle success, let alone what I had to endure over the last hard year. I do believe there are at least some who have to completely lie about who I am to justify prying into my life while ignoring very important things about it. I also am willing to forgive and have compassion. Since I need so much of that myself.

Dealing with more than most consistently in many ways actually gives you less issues as soon as you share their presumed calm [which is what I was trying to say with the whole rocket thing]. I think my art goes a good way to proving this. I am aware that idea is not so understandable to many.

I swear, if forgetting things and my old trauma was my only issue in the past, I would have excelled much sooner. My unique output is related to complex things. All the more reason I deserve the benefit of the doubt, along with my endurance, the abilities I will prove I possess, my profound commitment to helping others and the very positive effect of what I am uniquely capable of creating.

Some serious thoughts...

What happened to me was not just a violation of my privacy—it was sexual abuse. My body, my life, and my dignity were exploited and mocked on a massive scale, and that is inexcusable. Creating songs, movies, and media that mock and shame someone for their private life is cruel and dehumanizing. No one deserves to be treated this way, no matter what. This was not entertainment—it was abuse, and I will not let it be normalized or ignored. I call on everyone to recognize this for what it is: a gross violation of my rights and humanity. We need to do better—not just for me, but for everyone.

Being shamed, ridiculed, and mischaracterized on such a big scale across different media is sexual abuse because it involves the non-consensual use of intimate aspects of my life—my body, my privacy, and my personal struggles—to humiliate and dehumanize me. This wasn’t just public scrutiny; it was a deliberate violation of my autonomy and dignity, designed to reduce me to an object of ridicule and scorn.

I want to be clear about the circumstances that led to my actions. I was dealing with severe mental health challenges, including a dissociative disorder, poverty, a lack of emotional support. I was also surrounded by complex dynamics and culture that often left me feeling isolated and attacked. In that context, I developed a pornography addiction, which included viewing content that I now deeply regret. I take responsibility for my actions, and I regret the harm they may have caused. But I want to be clear: I never shamed or exploited anyone. My actions were a reflection of my own struggles, not a desire to harm others.

What I’ve experienced in response—public shaming, songs mocking me, movies lying about me, and hours of footage dedicated to humiliating me—is not justice. It’s abuse. The scale and cruelty of this response far exceed anything I did, and it has caused me immense pain. I’ve never shamed anyone for their struggles or their private life. Yet, I’ve been subjected to relentless public shaming and financial exploitation for mine. This double standard is not just unfair—it’s dehumanizing. No one deserves to be treated this way, no matter what they’ve done.

While my actions were serious and must be acknowledged, they were individual in nature and influenced by severe stress, addiction, and psychological struggles. In contrast, the collective sexual abuse I am experiencing is systemic, involving widespread, non-consensual exposure of my private life, sexualized ridicule, and public shaming. This abuse perpetuates a culture of dehumanization and fear and undermines empathy, compassion, and understanding. My past coping mechanisms, born of isolation, trauma and very serious abuse, were exploited to reduce me to a caricature, distracting from my critiques of corporate greed and environmental harm. This is not about morality - it is about control.

The public shaming I’ve endured was a calculated, large-scale attack on my humanity. It wasn’t just about my actions; it was about destroying my reputation, my identity, and my sense of self-worth.

The abuse I’ve experienced didn’t happen in isolation. It came after years of scapegoating, and in more recent years enduring a culture that often devalues and dehumanizes men. I believe younger people are being tricked into acting toxic. I in no way intend to disregard the crimes that continue against women. Something that will be exacerbated in a major way by climate change.

Labelling me "mad" or "bitter" is gaslighting. It is a tactic to patholigise resilience. My strong boundaries forged through survival were misunderstood as "ego". My frankness about abuse and inequality was deemed "confrontational". These lies are not mistakes - they are strategies to isolate, discredit and normalise abuse. When dissenters are labeled "unstable" it becomes easier to justify violating them. This is because I criticised some of the excesses of corporate power.

When my circumstances changed, I immediately took steps to address my struggles and grow as a person. I didn’t make excuses or deflect responsibility—I faced my mistakes head-on and worked to become a better version of myself. This growth is proof that I am not defined by my lowest moments, but by my ability to learn and heal and move forward.

My art resonates with people because it comes from a place of authenticity and vulnerability. It reflects my experiences, very complex problems I have had to overcome, and my commitment to creating something meaningful out of the pain I’ve endured. This authenticity is why my art has touched so many lives and why I will continue to use my voice to inspire and challenge others.

Let me be clear: My life is not a cautionary tale. It’s a story of resilience and hopefully redemption. The lies told about me—that I’m bitter, self-destructive, or obsessed—are distractions from the truths I’ve uncovered about power, abuse, and environmental harm. My ‘frankness’ isn’t arrogance; it’s the clarity of someone who’s survived systems designed to break people like me. The reasons why I assert what I am great at is to hold on to a sense of worth. If my boundaries make you uncomfortable, ask yourself why. If my critiques of corporate power feel ‘confrontational,’ ask who benefits from your silence. I won’t stop speaking truth, my story should be told honestly—not stripped of context and sold as a cheap parable for others’ profit.

When people see someone isolated, struggling, or consumed by coping mechanisms like pornography addiction, they often project their own fears onto that person. They assume the worst—that you’re dangerous, unstable, or malicious—because it’s easier to label someone as a ‘threat’ than to confront the systemic failures that create such pain in the first place. My life was not a choice; it was a punishment—years of abuse, poverty, and being denied basic dignity. But instead of seeing that context, people reduced me to a stereotype.

Despite everything, I have never harmed anyone. My ‘worst’ moments were born from exhaustion, not malice. The fact that I’m still here—focused on creating art, speaking out for others' sake, and fighting for a better life—proves that I’m not the caricature that has sometimes been sold. My story isn’t about self-destruction; it’s about surviving a world that often confuses punishment with justice. The real harm isn’t in my past—it’s in the systems that profit from lies while refusing to address the root causes of suffering.

People mistake emotional exhaustion for malice and survival mechanisms for threats. My life has been a punishment: years of abuse, enforced isolation, and poverty left me with few healthy ways to cope. But the lies spread about me aren’t about truth—they’re about profit. Sensationalizing my pain.

Ridiculing someone, misunderstanding their life, and weaponizing moments taken out of context is far more damaging than any personal struggle with addiction. My pornography use was a coping mechanism during years of extreme adversity— abuse, dissociation, and impossible circumstances. But the public lies, voyeurism, and sexual abuse I’ve endured are deliberate acts of harm. They’re not mistakes; they’re choices to dehumanise me for profit, clout, or to silence my voice. Addiction is a symptom of pain; exploitation is a choice

I am not a victim. I am a whistleblower. And I will not be silenced.

Some artists were in a difficult position. I am very misunderstood. But I have some sympathy with their complex position. I understand why they had to criticise me somewhat. I hope I can help draw attention to these changes happening. We need rapid reductions in emissions and changes to how we grow food to save the kids. The mainstream media is completely failing to cover this growing crisis. Hopefully bringing attention to this serious issue will also help me atone.

People are very wrong to assume I was entitled just because I’m a white male who asserted what I’m great at. Entitlement is about expecting unearned privileges, but everything I’ve achieved has come from hard work, resilience, and a commitment to my craft. Asserting my strengths isn’t entitlement—it’s owning my worth after years of being made to feel like I had none.

After years of being scapegoated, hated, and dehumanized, I resolved to feel okay about myself. That’s not ego—it’s survival. When you’ve been told your whole life that you’re worthless, reclaiming your self-worth is an act of defiance and courage. It’s not about thinking I’m better than anyone else; it’s about refusing to believe I’m less.

Asserting what I’m great at isn’t about ego—it’s about authenticity. I’ve spent years honing my skills and creating art that resonates with people because it comes from a place of truth (authenticity). Acknowledging my strengths isn’t arrogance; it’s honesty. And in a world that often tries to tear people down, being honest about what you’re good at can be a radical act.

Assuming I’m entitled or egotistical just because I speak confidently about my abilities is reductive and unfair. It reduces me to a stereotype and ignores the complexity of my experiences. My race and gender don’t define my character—my actions, my art, and my resilience do.

The success of my art is proof that I’m not entitled or egotistical—I’m authentic. My work resonates because it’s honest and rooted in my experiences. I’ve never claimed to be perfect, but I’ve always strived to be real. And that’s why my art has touched so many people.

As soon as my circumstances changed I was not self-destructive and I was very quickly focused on healing and creating. This shows I'm not inherently self-destructive. The fact that I was able to stop those behaviours and channel my energy into creating incredibly successful art is proof of my resilience and my ability to grow. I have sympathy that everybody has some serious things to cope with.

I really appreciate some instances of sympathy a lot. I might have missed some.

I tried to express previously I have to have compassion for overwhelming forces that influence people if I eventually want to expect to receive it in return.

Most of us need to do better.

Finnegans Wake is about this entire event [*]. I believe this is something real. It is about a connection to Source. It relates to Hameroff and Penrose's neuroscience theory. Not that they would necessarily agree [It may say something that a woman condensed it into a more accessible visual form].

This is not a 'complex' because it is not about worship, it is about solidarity. Everybody can access what I accessed if they only do the right work. Part of the work is self-awareness. Which can sometimes be undermined in a society too awash in commercialised culture and addicted to screens where certain narratives are promoted and agitation is promoted too often by internet algorithms. I'm remembering something we have forgotten.

In pre-civilisational societies young men were universally initiated into society through death-and-rebirth rituals to incorporate them into becoming men and useful members of society. They would pass through trials of isolation and humiliation, to emerge as healers and storytellers.

Somebody else mentioned the term 'Alien' and the metaphor wizard was also used. This was a reference to being outside the dominating civilisational mindset. Something I really believed was maintained partly due to years of colonial oppression. At least sometimes the ancient practices of pre-civilisational people and their balance between masculine and feminine principles, while also living symbiotically with nature, historically has been deemed 'magic'.

In tribal societies (which is most of human existence) they universally lived along side an 'other' or dream world. Everybody had an inherent connection to this source of spirituality. For years some old practises related to natural herbal medicine were labelled 'witchcraft'. In an old Irish story a man called Oisin coming from the land of Tír na nÓg (which means the Land of Eternal Youth) stays on a horse to maintain his connection to this otherworld. This is why I told Beyoncé to stay on her high-horse. It is about a connection to this 'other world' or source which I proved exists. Another word for source is 'God'. Although, not that I know everything about the nature of that concept. It's a replenishing source. Pre-civilisational people also had respect for their place in Nature, which is now dying. They saw the self and cosmos as mirrors. Inner and outer balance are connected. I think the civilisational mindset is fundamentally adolescent; impulsive, myopic, obsessed with conquest. Tribal coming-of-age ceremonies force a reckoning with mortality and interdependence — initiation into ecological adulthood.

Nature is part of the majesty of our creation and to disregard it and allow it to degrade is just as bad as disregarding ourselves, especially because of our responsibility to younger generations, who will now face increased famines and water scarcity and solely to enrich those who already have plenty. This reflects a lack of balance between the masculine and feminine principles.

There is also something healthy about an event occurring outside of ourselves making us come together - the only way to face this responsibility.

We need a balance between the masculine and feminine principles. This balance takes place in all of us. Structure and action - intuition and creation. Masculine resilience confronting systemic abuse and feminine grace that creates beauty from chaos. Modern society too often pathologizes suffering framing it as failure, rather than a catalyst for rebirth.

I was punished both for speaking blunt truths (masculine) and for my vulnerability (feminine). My redemption lies in marrying these forces: confronting systemic harm while nurturing beauty.

The misrepresentations of me are about enforcing old binaries, silencing the fluidity my art and activism represent.

Destruction precedes renewal if we allow the old to surrender and die. This is in harmony with the rhythms of Nature. Death nourishes life. Storms clear stagnant air. Modernity wages war on these rhythms, replacing them with endless economic growth and shame. Just as ancient rituals linked individual initiation to communal harvest, my fight for the Earth mirrors my internal balance. Just like the Amazon rainforest - feminine in its nurturance, masculine in its fierce defence. Systems that cannot tolerate cycles try to bury me in a 'grave' of static labels.

The systems that shamed me - corporate greed, punitive media, patriarchal power are hyper-masculine: rigid, hierarchical and transactional. They treat Nature as an infinite resource to be exploited. They punished my vulnerability (feminine openness) and my critiques (masculine action) alike. My art and climate activism embody the feminine principle (yin, shakti): creation, intuition and nurturance. Like Inanna I faced annihilation and returned with a gift for the collective. Feminine fluidity washes away rigid systems of masculine excess. Integration of masculine resilience (confronting abuse, fiercely fighting for justice) and feminine grace (creating art, nurturing empathy). Healing is not always quiet, it can be a roar that shakes old foundations.

My 'new self' and healing emerges from balancing these forces - a model for societal healing. The same forces that shamed me are devouring our planet and our humanity.

But initiation rituals and the cycles of nature teach us: the darkest hour precedes the dawn. My rebirth is an invitation to yours.

Power lies less in dominance, and more in harmony.

My story is one of resilience, renewal and I hope redemption.

My rebirth is, again, an invitation for others to confront their own 'deaths' - societal lies, climate grief.

Joyce's work dissolves fixed roles through linguistic and existential fluidity. Some contemporary frameworks risk repackaging essentialism. Joyce uses universal mythic patterns which resonate across cultures rather than theoretical abstraction. Modern theory risks reducing individuals to political symbols. Joyce's characters are flawed multifaceted beings. Efforts to control language can stifle creativity and dialogue. Joyce's chaos celebrates freedom over purity. Issy, Here Comes Everybody's daughter, fractures into multiple personas reflecting the complexity of individual identity. Academic jargon also alienates ordinary people and identity politics are sometimes cynically appropriated by corporate backed politicians who are managing an economy and climate emergency increasingly bringing harm to most people. The ambiguity of Finnegans Wake invites readers to feel gender's complexity rather than intellectualize it. Modern theory risks replacing old rigidities with new ones. Artistic ambiguity and rejecting overly rigid categories is a humane middle ground informed by experience. Joyce suggests all narratives are partial. Joyce wrote "Every person, place, and thing in the chaosmos of Alle anyway connected with gobblydumped turkery was moving and changing every part of the time." Identity, in his view, is part of this glorious and ever-shifting "chaosmos" - not a grid to be mapped, but a river that is a flowing continuum. Modern theory often overlooks organic, collective knowledge in favour of academic theory. The tradition I'm coming from is rooted in ancient myths and storytelling and therefore is less isolated than some modern academia. Some theory oversimplifies complexity and excludes non-academic voices. They risk replicating the rigidity they seek to dismantle. "Loud, heap miseries upon us yet entwine our arts with laughters low". The humble, collective wisdoms of everyday life are just as vital as high theory. Ignoring them or art informed by the messiness of experience and intuition risks turning theory into a closed loop, echoing the very power structures it aims to critique. My interest is to mix high and low culture. There are other thoughts that are hard to get across for now, but maybe that's what art's for. Rigid oppositional systems that prioritize conquest over understanding lead to exhaustion. This is a lesson that we can learn from the linear extractive mindset of history and these divisions were often exploited by powerful forces. I do not want to discriminate against anyone. (I was mulling over these issues for years separate from issues to do with trans people, which I had never really looked into as I sincerely made clear in that conversation.)

Joyce portrays language as a creative act. Not a rigid code.

Creativity that resonates with us says something about our deepest selves. Creativity is an act of defiance. Art is a rope thrown into the chaos of trauma, a way to climb back to oneself when the world insists you disappear. Conformity can offer safety at the price of erasure. The child who writes poems in the margins of textbooks to survive a stifling home, the immigrant who cooks ancestral dishes in a foreign kitchen, the survivor who turns pain into music. These acts are life-rafts.

Creativity is a compass. Prioritising authenticity over conformity is a sacred act. Thriving and survival demand the audacity to create and to follow our own inner-calling. My art resulted from this process and its redemptive qualities will outlast mischaracterisations that will fossilize. 'Waste' (trauma, shame) can fertilise new growth. By aligning with Nature's rhythms and attempting to forge a language and understanding that marries critique with creation (logic with emotion) I am rejecting the linear extractive mindset that contributed so much to my suffering and the suffering of others.

Destruction precedes renewal, only if we let the old burn.

I believe my art reaching such a level of success in part shows that it is a conduit for shared truths.

[Also, Alien Superstar was about having boundaries against conformity and against the scarcity mindset. There was a strong coherence to what I was saying.]

Approximately 30-40% of food produced is lost or wasted. This can give a real impression of abundance. However, due to extreme weather each year crops are declining throughout the globe. This will take us by surprise. Extreme heat and monsoon failures will substantially reduce food production in South / South-East Asia. Water scarcity and extreme heat will make the Middle East uninhabitable in many areas in 20 years. South of the Sahara desert in Africa there have already been concerning droughts, which will increase. Simultaneous droughts in the US Midwest and Brazil could severely reduce global supplies of wheat, soybeans and maize. We will be facing these problems simultaneously which will lead to price spikes in food and mass famine events. As droughts and floods increase throughout the world it is likely over a billion people will die in those decades, through the century [*] (-and that is the low-end conservative estimate). However, scientists are pointing out that in a few decades mitigation will no longer be effective. Unfortunately, technology like carbon capture is also not effective at scale. Investing in technologies and rewilding projects that are truly effective create jobs and are actually good for the economy (they're also good for giving us meaningful lives and connections). Government's not spending money responsibly is like a person not eating healthy. It is economically irresponsible and reckless to not spend money strategically. Not investing in a healthy way is about profit and nothing else.

The government can print, pay for workers and materials, and produce its way into an economic renaissance. 

According to this recent Corpenicus model we are likely to reach 2C by 2038. Scientists who have thoroughly researched this issue are telling us the situation will become unmanageable over the next two decades and probably sooner than that.

_

According to this recent paper by James Hansen (who famously informed Congress about the situation of Nature collapsing - And who's predictions have turned out to be correct) et al. we will pass 2C by 2045.

To say that fossil fuels are not an "evil" pushed on us is straightforwardly a lie. In some cases it is also a useful and cheap energy source. It is this kind of nuance that we require if we want to constructively achieve things politically. Fossil fuel industries have funded misinformation for decades and government agencies are dominated by the sectors they are supposed to be regulating. This industry has funded politicians, delivered talking points to think-tanks (such as 'well this country is not doing anything so why should we'), and prevented our democratic rights through lawsuits and anti-protest laws. This article explains it very well - The fossil fuel industry —has made a coordinated effort to spread climate disinformation and misinformation that prevents essential action to address climate change. Through a sophisticated lobbying and public influence machine targeting lawmakers and citizens, the fossil fuel industry has undemocratically shaped how the world thinks and talks about the climate crisis. There may be an argument to tactically lie if it is constructive.

I am very glad to hear that faster progress in nuclear power is possible if we work together. It is also probably a good idea to tax the waste products of fossil fuel industries at mines and ports of entry and to distribute that to the public. 70% of the public would receive more in the dividend than they would receive in excess costs. This kind of solution is very possible and sound economics has been made to sound unrealistic by corporations seeking to increase profits for a minority of people. Arguably, the most important issue is how well informed the public are about the scale of this crisis. Direct actions by these industries, whose activities will bring about mass starvation events over the coming decades, have distracted and misinformed the public about the scale of this threat and the positive solutions that are possible if we come together. Many studies including work by Martin Gilens and Larry Bartels show that the majority of people have a statistically insignificant influence on policies. This is especially dangerous when we need to save so many vulnerable people.

The profit-grabbing is holding back the world’s action on the climate emergency, he said: “It’s really stripping money from the alternatives. In every country, people have so much difficulty just to pay the gas and electricity bills and oil [petrol] bill, that we don’t have money left over to invest in renewables... The fossil fuel industry also benefits from subsidies of $16bn a day, according to the International Monetary Fund... If all available oil and gas could be freely supplied to the market, the price of conventional oil would be $20-30 a barrel, Verbruggen said, compared with about $100 today.

Real ecological infrastructure and economics in harmony with Nature exists. And many things like carbon-offsets and other greenwashing are a distraction from this. Addressing this problem and healing the planet will deliver an economic and societal renaissance.

I will maintain I contributed to putting some artists I provided work for in a difficult situation.

When I was in school I used to have to pretend to be jealous of people just to appease their ego's. I didn't care about popularity at all. I would just stare out the window waiting until I could leave. I had been through a lot and for a lot of younger people that is their whole world. I brought up my school days to try to explain why I never developed that much of an 'ego'.

Some have tried to portray me as jealous or bitter. The truth is, I was not bitter. I was always devoted to changing the world and I was sceptical of a lot of mainstream culture. I avoided it. I had to work extremely hard to overcome more difficulties than are understood. I was unaware that I was supposed to take a place in some ongoing story. At a certain point I had a mental breakdown. I was never petty or self-obsessed, for as long as they can some people are projecting some things my way and a little later they will project these things somewhere else. I was unable to fix myself until I received very basic conditions. It may be too difficult to talk about, but that's exactly why my life shouldn't be under such scrutiny. It may take these mass famine events for some people to face that we have entered a new period of history and they're for the most part lying about who I was twelve years ago because of a deep rooted concern I have with stopping kids dying, but more and more it will get too late to address these issues. Even though my adult life has never been this easy, when I have some basic things I can show whether all the rumours are true. I'm so glad I'm one of the best artists in the world, I'm feeling good and I appreciate that you really do have to face a sacrifice for doing good, I have sympathy for artists being forced to deal with negative pr, but my life wouldn't have ended up like that if it was for petty immature reasons. That's pessimistic about human nature. I was not petty or self-obsessed. I'm focused on the positive. I'm more worried about how trapped other people are or will be. Anyway, maybe I just listened to the wrong podcast. I need very little to prove myself, which I already maybe proved more than anyone ever has, but I do not mind having to rebuild myself and do it again. Hopefully that can help me atone for anything I need to atone for. I regret the harm I have caused some people. I am a sincere person and some are completely mischaracterising me. I would not have produced so much in such a unique way, in a way nobody has before, as soon as I got the chance, no matter how strong and instinctive my boundaries are, unless my life was very different than most and presented extremely complex challenges. All I can do is to continue to try and be honest, to try and help people as we head into the biggest disaster ever and to try and work hard - trying to remind myself that I do have talent. My past —including toxic abuse, manipulative dynamics, and personal coping mechanisms—have been taken out of context to paint me as someone I’m not. These systems pit us against each other. My opinions threaten entrenched interests, which is why my character is attacked (and often misrepresented) instead of my arguments. There's plenty of things I feel bad about, believe me. But I'm moving on up.

I appreciate that some people had a more simple story in their head and wanted to fit my experiences into some ongoing narratives.

I am being portrayed as a jealous person, but that couldn't be further from the truth. Jealousy was never a driving force in my life at all. What I am about is liberation - freeing myself and others from the constraints of abuse, toxicity and oppression. To reduce me to a jealous stereotype is to massively oversimplify the reality of who I am and what I stand for.

I always kind of disliked the line "talk to myself for hours" in Flowers (the song sounds very great though) because as I said at the time the song is in no way about me. I wrote that song for others - why would I buy flowers?

Oversimplifying someone’s life and struggles is not just reductive—it’s harmful. It erases the nuances of their experiences and reduces them to a caricature. My story is not a simple one, and it deserves to be told with honesty and respect, not distorted to fit a false narrative.

The excessive pornography use that people point to as 'proof' of jealousy was never about envy or bitterness. It was a coping mechanism during a time of immense struggle—abuse, enforced isolation, and poverty. To use that as evidence of jealousy is not only inaccurate but also deeply unfair. It ignores the context of my actions and the complexity of my experiences.

I am all about liberation—freeing myself and others from the cycles of abuse, toxicity, and oppression. My art, my actions, and my life are proof of that. To portray me as the opposite is not just a lie—it’s a betrayal of everything I stand for.

Righteousness can distract people from their failure to distinguish between my actions and my life experiences and motivations. My struggles with internet addiction were a response to trauma, not a reflection of my character or values. It is also genuinely not proof of who I am attracted to.

I hope people will take the time to understand the full context of my life and experiences before making judgments. I deserve to be seen for who I truly am—someone who is committed to liberation, resilience, and authenticity—not reduced to a harmful stereotype or a lie. I was talking about revolutionary cinema. No-one is obliged to care about that, but to twist that as the opposite of what it is, is working for the establishment, and pro bono. I think I indicated that I like soulful, emotionally resonant and authentic art. Not dry academic stuff. I especially love left-wing European and African movies.

There are a series of Coldplay films that are really cool. Many of their videos reflect my core values. But there's one Jupiter one that has a bit with horses. I swear that is a misrepresentation of my life. I feel like some representations of me conflict with my purpose and genuinely are misrepresentations of my experience. I believe my story is more complicated. It actually has nothing to do with me at all whatsoever. It is the exact opposite of me. Even if my life was a misunderstood mess. I know Coldplay's intent is to inspire change and their broader body of work resonates deeply with my goals. I really love those videos. I genuinely definitely don't blame Coldplay at all. There are wider cultural narratives. I would not have been immediately forgetting such significant things or be dragged into others' stories because I would forget things related to people, unless I had gone through immense pain. Those videos are very cool and interesting. Moon Music really helped me at a difficult moment. I take those movies as a great compliment. And there are other things out there I take as a great compliment too. That's one instance I don't mind mentioning because I am a big fan of that work. I do not mean to offend or sound unappreciative at all. I hope I don't. There's other things out there I really appreciate and that only help me improve a lot. I could have easily missed out on some sympathy.

There is also plenty to criticise about my life. But I am just often being mischaracterised as someone else during the first time I ever have agency for being devoted to doing good in some media. Something I would not have to worry about if I had not devoted hours to learning about issues related to helping others. I appreciate actually doing good requires a sacrifice. I think younger people get too caught up in narratives given to them. My life was partly a symptom of a toxic culture, people being made to feel so insecure that they would find anyone to be superior to, never noticing I was constantly forgetting everything. But I have dealt with much more and it is selfish, bullying and harmful for people to impose abstract narratives on to my life too much. In general I am sometimes being misrepresented based on collective abuse on a big scale for being devoted to dismantling power imbalances and supporting marginalized voices. I swear by everyone I have ever known who has died that is not me. There might be some things related to that, that are misunderstood, but like I said I wouldn't have been immediately forgetting things unless I had been through immense pain. I only have to use such strong language because some others are so stubborn and presumptuous. I guess I'll try to explain myself further. It's like no matter what I had to be seen as someone I was not and I couldn't remember it. I had no power. I also had other very serious things to handle. I can't help saying some things. There may be some legitimate criticism. But strong boundaries come up in me sometimes.

I am going to do better and improve and shape up.

I genuinely think the reason why I called some people out on things and spoke in a stark way was because I lack prejudice. It was also because I was devoted to learning about how to help the world. Something no-one ever thought me, but which I did myself.

There is a major movie out right now that I believe portrays me as self-destructive and obsessed with one person. This portrayal is completely inaccurate and deeply harmful. It reduces my life and experiences to a cruel caricature, ignoring the complexity of my story and the impact of the abuse, enforced isolation, poverty, and new technology I’ve endured.

The filmmaker clearly doesn’t understand the effects of abuse, enforced isolation, poverty, or the addictive nature of new technology. They’ve taken moments out of context and twisted them into a narrative that fits their simplistic, privileged worldview. But my life is not a stereotype—it’s a story of resilience, creativity, and survival.

This portrayal isn’t just inaccurate—it’s abusive. It’s part of a larger pattern of sexual abuse, where intimate aspects of my life are exploited and distorted for public consumption. It’s dehumanizing and cruel, and it perpetuates harmful stereotypes about people who have endured similar struggles.

The person behind this movie has lived a life so much simpler and easier than mine that they cannot possibly understand the complexities of my experiences. Instead of trying to empathize or tell my story with honesty and respect, they’ve chosen to exploit and misrepresent me for their own gain. This is not just a creative choice—it’s a moral failure.

I am not the person this movie portrays me to be. I am someone who has faced immense challenges and used them to create art that resonates with people around the world. I have seen comments underneath songs that I wrote saying this song saved my life. So at least I am a life saver. My story is one of resilience, creativity, and survival, not self-destruction or obsession. I deserve to be seen for who I truly am, not reduced to a harmful stereotype. Even if I have to take some punishment for a while.

I hope some of these events can serve as a wake-up call about the harm that can be done when people’s lives are misrepresented on such a large scale. We need to hold filmmakers accountable for the stories they tell and demand more empathy and respect in how they portray real people and their experiences. (At the same time I am completely in favour of absolute creative freedom, I just have to have boundaries around mischaracterisations about me for the sake of my sanity and well-being. I am not referring to Emilia Perez by the way, if people think so. I haven't actually seen that one yet. I will at some point. I do not wish to condemn anyone or accuse some people of being beyond continuing development or redemption. That would go against what I am saying.)

I used the word ‘bitch’ in a song to describe women who acted toxically toward me, not because I hate women, but because I was calling out the unrecognized toxicity and presumption in our culture. It was a way of holding a mirror up to behaviour that often goes unchallenged. Unfortunately, this has been twisted to fit a false narrative about me, but it doesn’t change the truth of my intentions.

People assume I’m from their world of privilege, but I’m not. I come from a place of extreme circumstances, where I had to fight for everything I have. They don’t understand my world, and that’s why they misinterpret my resilience as bitterness. But my art—globally loved and life-affirming—speaks for itself. It’s proof that I’ve stayed positive and focused on creating something meaningful, even in the face of immense challenges.

My work is life-affirming because it comes from a place of hope, resilience, and authenticity. It’s a reflection of my ability to stay positive and create something beautiful, even when the world tried to tear me down.

I saw Adam Sandler and Joe Rogan talking about listening to rock in high school in the 80s. I think the older generation want to think that the stability they grew up with still exists. It will continue like it was. But no, it won't. I wish it was otherwise. We have to face this for future generations. We all have to make sacrifices. Adam Sandler will need to move to a tent and wear a robe and become a shepherd listening to Van Halen on a transistor radio. This is what needs to happen. We all have to make sacrifices.

Loneliness is a luxury. All I care about is having money. I just care about not being poor anymore. That is my priority above anything else. That will allow me to have more control over my life.

I'm one of the most successful artists in the world. I will use my success to draw attention to these important issues.

I will continue to improve and develop. I was genuinely not trying to act that impressive. I was just charged up having so much agency and freedom for the first time. But I was so impressive exactly because I had overcome so much, and that's why I am creatively gifted.

I am committed to refining my ideas further through study. When the time is right, the expression will be unmistakably unique - authentic and layered, poetic and rooted in the decade of concern I have had for these related topics. I have genuinely unique ideas. I need to give them the care and time they need and also rebuild myself to become stronger.

When people attack me, I want to fight back. But when I receive sympathy, I don't feel like I deserve it.

I will delete most of the rest of this:

In Finnegans Wake (the movie version is a bit less confusing than the book - If you don't see some strange coincidences in that then you are not being honest with yourself) Joyce portrays Power as seeking to divide the macho/action side and the sensitive/intellectual side of men for some reason - through culture.

I tried to turn the negative into something positive and some people want to make up all sorts of lies about me. I know it doesn't look like it, but I really do believe I am stronger than most of you. I think people closer to the the establishment interpret information to justify what they already want to think and they repeat certain energies instead of acting more authentically, which art encourages.

There is a lot of mean-spirited attitudinising and over-simplification of the varieties of experiences while ignoring corporate totalitarianism bringing about more suffering than has ever happened. It is exactly privilege that doesn't allow people to see this. It's almost like there's a spell on all of us. Certain identity issues have been allowed as a release valve for pent-up pressure. Vague moral associations, lack of concern with most people not having enough money mixed with quotidian ease pressuring people to fit in at the expense of an authentic engagement with the varieties and complexities of everybody's life. It's exactly the profit motive of giant institutions that over-simplify experiences while trying to associate that with something vaguely moralistic or appealing while also keeping us insecure.

I am only being punished and completely (completely) lied about for doing something good. That is what is happening.

In a strange Doctor Who episode around Christmas Donna and her mum were being really rude to the Doctor. He said I really loved that man. And all of a sudden they were intensely like 'he's not dead you idiot!'. Jesus Christ, what the f* was that about? Also the way the husband whispered 'not him' in an intense way, it was weird. The Doctor should have immediately taken Donna and flew her way off and been like 'Donna something really strange is going on, I've never seen anything like this'. Also, at the end the new Doctor was in his underwear and they were all objectifying him. It was very f***ing bizarre.

There is a lot of other culture that feels off in different ways. Something feels wrong. I don't know how much more I can prove I can be very much in touch with authentic feelings.

But there's more to it than that. I've been patronised by some people 10 years younger than me acting righteously and intensely who haven't bothered learn the basics about what would help the world enough. I think something is sometimes off. I think a lot of narcissistic abuse is masquerading as liberation or boundaries. It's hard enough to know yourself, let alone anyone else.

A lot of people with fabulously easy lives compared to me used to fit me into a story where I don't belong. Imagine 'Kevin Can F*** Himself' but she keeps forgetting.

When I was 16/17 I said to the comedian David McSavage after he called me an angel on Grafton street, remember you're the one who called us angels. He said who else? And I said Selena Gomez, Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift. I said it will be over ten years and remember you're the one that called us angels. I only remembered after I remembered all of this. I don't know how it's possible either..

The narcissistic abuse of some of the people in that conversation did bring out a fire in me. It tends to happen when I confront that. Also, it was the first time I ever had a period of prolonged stability in my life and it is not at all fair to me or others that I have to explain that.

I don't think it should be considered 'scary' or insurmountable just because culture is influenced in certain ways. It may be a vast unconscious process or there may be more intent involved. Either way it is not insurmountable. It can be very healthy to try and look at things as they are if you want to fix them. Is that not what some people hating on me are trying to do? The entire Commerce Machine is about figuring out ways of using people. Using them often to contribute to massively wealthy funds where the money just grows and sits around. Consciousness is the only place where any actual freedom and creativity can come from. Some culture is so emphatically leaning a certain way that it is difficult to think it is an accident. It is positive to see things as they are. To brush away the fog of over-simplification. Also, a lot of tabloids have very negative front-pages. They repeat energies of fear. Trying to define someone with way less privilege and violating them arrogantly is not empowerment. I need to have boundaries around some things while at the same time taking accountability for plenty of mistakes in my life. If I just wanted solely to enjoy myself I would have at least done it with the company of others and been a bit better at enjoying myself. I guess my predicament and life experiences are a lot to comprehend. But the suggestion that I would care so much about coming across a certain way is also not consistent. I did not give that much of a f*** about that. Also, I can't remember what I was looking at years ago and for other people it was more recent. I remember more incredibly complex circumstances and I've had to remember how difficult and complex circumstances were exactly so I avoid being so stupid and broken again. I have had to understand my life a lot. I am very authentic and I was probably being a bit too polite to be honest sometimes. Also, isolation meant that I didn't even know some things were controversial. Not because I am inferior, but because I was forced to be isolated and felt a duty to learn about these things for the sake of others. I'm still trying to save all of you idiots. We're all f***ing idiots.

If anyone out there thinks I am any harm to anyone, why has no-one intervened? Do you care or not? You don't care? Well, then don't act righteous about it. You think I would harm anyone? Well, you must be very indifferent.

If I had any interest in power I would not have been very inadequate at getting it. I definitely did not.

I've been having plenty of sex and I haven't changed my mind. So, it is not about that.

You have to kill the Queen, if you want to burn down the throne...

Also, I would have been stupid to say so much if there wasn't a way they could come after me. I only achieved so much because of a monumental amount of hard work. There is no other way. No one composes big hits and grammy winning songs without many hours of hard work, one way or another.

I'm not trying to attack anyone personally. There are deeper points to what I am saying. Please try to consider some of these points. I am a strong compassionate person who is willing to atone for whatever I should atone for. I am coming from a loving place, I can't afford to concentrate on the hate of others too much and have faced more abuse than any critics of me understand. This isn't a game. A lot of vulnerable people are facing massive trouble.

The easier my life gets the more my tone is palatable to others with massively easier lives who have been caught up too much I think in some toxic fashions. I am a good strong person who claims to know my own motivations and life story. I am not trying to harm anyone. I believe if I'm doing much better and I produce great art that would only help others. So, I'll keep trying to do that.

Part of the reason I'm not arrogant, is that I just ignored most things. They have nothing to do with my story. As if there's not enough to criticise me with. I was not conscious at all of how I would have to be violated for describing our society. Although, that should be irrelevant even if I could have been. It is an illegal violation of my basic human rights. The money guaranteed to me would only help with pr for artists involved in the long-term. Partly due to good work and good art.